Literal "Hell on Wheels"-Your Vehicle May Be a Demon, Says "Prophetess" Rosalind

Your motorcycle may be a literal Hell's Angel says "Prophetess" Rosalind Solomon. According to her your Lexus could be Legion, your Beamer could be Belial, and well, you get the idea.

You are more than free to watch her almost hour long explanation here. Like me, you probably don't want to do that, so just for you, I've chopped it down into two easily digestible parts. Well maybe, not that easily digestible.

In the first video you will hear a lot of nonsense. The gist? 

1. Your vehicle or motorcycle may be a demon made by Satan of a dead human. 
2. Satan can even put demons in jewelry, makeup, creams, hair dye, weave hair, turkey tails, and canned goods at the 99 cent store.

Have you lost your sense of lucid equilibrium yet? I had to listen about five times just to understand her flow of thought. As far as vehicles go, demons are limited to luxury cars, mostly. 

Let's go to exhibit two. Can you handle the "truth"?

The gist? There are humanoid demons that can block the heart from receiving the gospel, so you must take measures to remove it.

Prophetess Rosalind appears to have an audience. If you take time to listen to her entire video, she mentions people who send her money for books, and she even holds conferences that people attend. You can visit her website and Youtube channel.

Why point out the over the top vain imaginations of an obscure false prophetess? Because she's an example of the ongoing need to warn people. People are sadly so easily deceived. She doesn't have the gravitas or funding of the popular false prophets, yet she has followers.

If she can so easily deceive when she lacks gravitas, imagine what someone with major money and talent behind their false ministry can do.

There is no difference between her vain imaginations and the vain imaginations coming from the popular mega-false ministries. Both are founded in the unreality of their own imaginations, and not in scripture.

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For those who think it's mean, judgmental and un-loving to criticize Rosalind Solomon (or any other so-called prophet) here's something just for you: Shocking Stuff You're Not Supposed to Know.

If you're having a knee-jerk reaction to try and defend Rosalind, check out: Confirmation Bias: Why You Are Protecting Your False Beliefs.

Finally, here's an article that will help you be more discerning and a lot less gullible: Defusing Demonic Dirty Bombs.

Papa Don't Push! -Apostle Axel's Ape-tastic Push Anointing

The real Holy Spirit would NEVER cause someone to steal bad movie posters and pretend they were a word from God, but "Apostle" Axel Sippach is aping Hollywood by delivering The Push Anointing to the body of Christ. Do not keep this unbiblical delivery. Our Father in heaven has not placed a Push Anointing anywhere in his word.

You may not find this "anointing" in God's word, but you will find in Hollywood, which makes Apostle Axel's vain imagination creation 100% ape-tastic!

He's aping the 2009 movie Push. This is what happens when you mix the vain imaginations of a false apostle with seeker sensitive attempts to be relevant. You end up with 0% bible, and 100% vain imagination.

Notice how he turns the power of the Holy Spirit into an impersonal force we can tap into.

“There is a ‪#‎power‬ at work within us that most of us have not even tapped into 10% of yet.”

Last I knew the Holy Spirit was more than an impersonal power we could tap into like a tree for maple syrup.

Don't let this false apostle turn the Holy Spirit into an impersonal force you can tap into. His teaching is founded in his vain imaginations and not in scripture. Simply put, our Father in heaven has not created a Push Anointing. Do not keep this unbiblical delivery, it's not from our Father.

"Prophetic Oopsies"-Real Prophets Can Say Sorry, Says "Prophetess" Vonda Brewer

“Prophetess” Vonda Brewer (The Nagging Prophetess) says real prophets can just say sorry and eat crow if they have a "prophetic oopsie." 

Here is a bit about her if you’re unfamiliar with Vonda: “Prophetess” Vonda Brewer is on record saying that God told her that Jeb Bush would win the Republican nomination for president in 2016. She claimed Trump would be trashed by the Republicans, and replaced with Jeb. As most of us know, Trump won the nomination, survived the convention, and he is now the official Republican nominee for president in 2016.

Vonda has decided to double down on her bet by saying the Republicans will dump Trump on September 10th, 2016 and put Jeb and George P. Bush on the ballot. Pay attention to two things in the video below. Around 1:57 while giving the date, she starts scratching her neck. Some body language experts assert that can be an indicator someone is lying.

Around 2:30 she says that if she has to come back and eat crow and say sorry she’ll do it.

The thing is, scripture doesn’t leave any room for real prophets to have prophetic oopsies. There is no room to simply say sorry, eat crow, and continue on being a real prophet.

“But the prophet who presumes to speak a word in my name that I have not commanded him to speak, or[f] who speaks in the name of other gods, that same prophet shall die.’ And if you say in your heart, ‘How may we know the word that the Lord has not spoken?’— when a prophet speaks in the name of the Lord, if the word does not come to pass or come true, that is a word that the Lord has not spoken; the prophet has spoken it presumptuously. You need not be afraid of him.”

— Duet. 18: 20-22

Vonda has reasons to be thankful. First, we’re not under the old covenant, so she can’t be put to death for her prophetic oopsies.

Also, she’s not living under a government controlled by hardcore Westminster Confession of Faith devotees. Under that scenario she could have a civil magistrate knocking on her door so she could be fitted for their favorite prophetic oopsie execution device.

There is still time for Vonda and people like her to call upon God to grant them repentance.

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For those who think it's mean, judgmental and un-loving to criticize Vonda Brewer (or any other so-called prophet) here's something just for you: Shocking Stuff You're Not Supposed to Know.

If you're having a knee-jerk reaction to try and defend Vonda Brewer, check out: Confirmation Bias: Why You Are Protecting Your False Beliefs.

Finally, here's an article that will help you be more discerning and a lot less gullible: Defusing Demonic Dirty Bombs.

Saints on Sofas-"How Church Should Be!" Says Christ Fellowship Church

Forget the five solas, we need saints on sofas. Lots and lots of sofas. Christ Fellowship Church says saints on sofas is "how church should be."

He clearly said it in jest, but there's no real difference between what's said in jest and what is actually happening at Christ Fellowship Church. Is this really what the modern Evangelical church has come to? Bragging about sweet couches at "church?" Pandering to your congregation with stunts that promote movies?? Does this guy appear to be a minister of the Gospel, or a late night infomercial host promoting the latest worthless gadget?

How have we gone from the five solas to saints on sofas within 500 years? Luther fought against spiritual whoredom from the papacy, and now a new type of spiritual whoredom has replaced it.

Under both scenarios those in power feed the saints poison from Satan that only serves to distract saints from the pure gospel.

We stand upon the shoulders of brave men, but if we could look down and see them today, surely they would be looking up and weeping.

Becoming all things to all people to win some by all means (1 Cor. 9:19-23) has been grossly distorted by church growth "experts," and seeker-sensitive superstars. Putting saints on sofas, serving popcorn, and talking about movies should be the reason for Christians to find another church-not the reason for church growth! Read The Gospel in the Background Does Seeker-Oriented Evangelism Make the Most of Every Opportunity? by Todd Wilken for further explanation.

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As a side note, is this little mistake a "Freudian slip?" (Or maybe his skinny jeans were just a little too tight to allow proper blood circulation to the brain this morning)

Furtick Listed among Top "Oprah-Certified" Gurus

The Oprah Winfrey Network named Steven Furtick to their Super Soul 100 influencers list in the Soul Teachers category along with other self-help gurus like Deepak Chopra, Eckart Tolle, Rob Bell, Tony Ribbons, T.D. Jakes, and more.

Steven Furtick's Elevation Church made this announcement on Facebook. Read the post closely. Pay attention to what is being emphasized and celebrated.

A preacher of the gospel is embracing being celebrated for helping people live an authentic life. An authentic life?  Isn't that the language of self-help gurus? Our inability to lead an "authentic life" is one of the problems that Jesus came to solve. We are sinners in need of a Savior, not students who just need a more effective teacher so we can reach our potential. This mingling of Christianity with totally pagan self-help training and leadership advice is very common-and very confusing.

Wouldn't it have been so much better if his Facebook announcement celebrated how he called for people to repent of their sins and trust in what Jesus did for them on the cross? But instead of presenting Christianity as a contrast to all the other New Agers on the list, he just gave a "Christian" version of the same vague "spirituality." Of course, if Steven Furtick was preaching a Biblical message of repentance for the forgiveness of sins he probably would have never made Oprah's list to begin with. 

The typical self-help/leadership book is full of catch phrases like "inspiring others" and "live out an authentic life". Furtick's Elevation Church draws our attention to those self-help linguistics.

Let's take a look at the wording on Furtick's bio page on Oprah's website:

“Pastor Steven Furtick is the founder and lead pastor of Elevation Church. At age 16, he realized that God’s plan for his life was to start a life-changing church in a metropolitan city. In 2006, that vision became a reality. Steven and his wife Holly, along with seven other families, quit their jobs, sold their homes, and moved to Charlotte, NC, to start Elevation Church—faithfully believing that God would use them to reach their city.

In the last decade, Elevation has grown to more than 20,000 in weekly attendance, meeting at 14 locations in the Charlotte area and beyond. Through God’s faithfulness and provision, the church has seen thousands of people give their lives to Christ, and had the opportunity to give over $20 million back to their community.”

“The heart of Pastor Steven’s message is the life-changing power of Jesus Christ, through which he empowers others to live greater, faith-filled lives for God’s glory. He has had the privilege to minister to a global audience and speak at conferences and churches around the world.

Additionally, Pastor Steven is the New York Times best-selling author of Sun Stand Still, Greater, Crash the Chatterbox and his most recent release, (Un)Qualified.”

The bio does have distinct Christian words like "give their lives to Christ," "power of Jesus Christ," "God's glory." But these distinctly Christian words are not the emphasis of Oprah and Furtick. Oprah and Furtick are not trying to propel your attention to Christ crucified.

Instead they whittle down the meaning of these Christian words so that Steven Furtick seems aligned with the self-help guru hall of fame Oprah is placing him in. As you observed from Furtick's Facebook post, he was more than willing to comply with the whittling away so he could fit in.

Again, his Facebook announcement drew attention to "inspiring others" and "live out an authentic life." Oprah's bio page uses "life-changing," "reach their city," "empowers," "faith-filled lives." The prominent Furtick quote is about reaching for goals, reward and fulfillment. These are all words that propel our attention to self-help and not the cross.

That false gospel draws attention to the self, and to one's own happiness and glory.

Furtick recently used Jesus Christ to draw attention to self on Facebook.

Christ is in us, and that is enough. Furtick uses the full thrust of Christ's name to draw attention to self.

But we don't need to know that we are enough, we need to know that Christ is enough. Period.

Repurposing Jesus into the self-focused self-help guru is, unfortunately, consistent with much of the ministry of Steven Furtick, and most of the mega-church pastors of American Pop Evangelicalism.

Christ is mentioned by Oprah and Furtick, but the true purpose of Christ is not the emphasis. Christ is repurposed into just another means of self-help, as the breadcrumb serving of Christian sounding words are stripped of their full impact. The cross isn't a primary focus, it's not even a secondary afterthought. Rather the cross is tucked snuggly behind the already whittled down Christian words, out of sight, and out of consideration, all so the self-help message can thunder forth from Oprah's guru mountain. No golden calf needed, because the self-help message is itself a golden calf.

Now what? We've exposed the issue. The gravity of the sin weighs on the conscience. Is this where it ends? No. When we here at Pirate Christian Media want a pastor to be "more Biblical" it's not because we want to keep people condemned-it's the exact opposite! The real, Biblical message of the Gospel is Good News. Jesus didn't die on the cross so we could be more successful or have a more fulfilling experience of reaching our goals or any of those self-help/leadership themes. We can't accomplish all the good things we know we should be accomplishing-that's why we need the Gospel. We need to have our sins forgiven-not hear another motivational message full of false hope in ourselves.

What if you're guilty of following this type of teaching? What if you're guilty of teaching this stuff? Are you to sit there, overwhelmed with your sin, without hope, without an eased conscience? No.

Are you tired of trying harder and harder? Are you willing to admit that you're not capable of doing all the good things you wished you were capable of doing? 

There is a throne of grace and forgiveness opened to sinners because of what Jesus did freely on the cross. Grace to remove your sin completely. Grace to ease your troubled conscience. Grace to grant you repentance. Freely given for you. Resting on nothing but what Jesus did on the cross. That's the message that people need to hear!

“Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives, do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.”

— John 14: 27

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For those who think it's mean, judgmental and un-loving to criticize Steven Furtick (or any other popular pastor/teacher) here's something just for you: Shocking Stuff You're Not Supposed to Know.

If you're having a knee-jerk reaction to try and defend Furtick's ideas, check out: Confirmation Bias: Why You Are Protecting Your False Beliefs.

Finally, here's an article that will help you be more discerning and a lot less gullible: Defusing Demonic Dirty Bombs.

Hands Up for the British Invasion at North Point Community Church

Andy Stanley’s North Point Community Church attempted a reboot of the British Invasion during their official worship service on Sunday.

They described it as a Beatles medley on their Facebook page.

They sang segments from Beatles classics, ending with Hey Jude. They called upon their audience to sing along and wave their hands to the Beatles tune as they sang, “na na na na na na na…”

You can watch the entire video here (you may notice some of the people sitting in the audience who look pretty expressionless; you have to wonder what they're thinking about this "worship"). This idea of singing Beatles songs at church isn't new; here's a much less professional video from a tiny church that, at least, changed the words of "Hey Jude" to fit their communion service. Is this really where the Evangelical, "Bible-believing" church wants to go? Really??

The week before they did an opener with rather suggestive lyrics singing, “Baby love the way you turn me on.”

Some more suggestive lyrics from an opener. Segments from the original lyrics. They did some adjusting, but not enough.

“Nowhere to hide when I’m getting you close
When we move, well, you already know

Feeling good, good, creeping up on you
So just dance, dance, dance, come on
All those things I should do to you

(I can’t stop the feeling)
Wanna see you move your body
(I can’t stop the feeling)”

Oddly enough, Andy Stanley has this quote on the NPCC website.

Why write about this? Because Andy Stanley and many other churches use these tactics which in the end detract from focusing on the gospel at an official church worship service.

Official church worship services are not extra curricular activities. There is plenty of time for fun, recreation, and out of the box creativity, but that can be done outside of an official church worship service.

I used to agree with, and promote these approaches to ministry. It took a “rude meanie head” to open my eyes. I hope this article serves as eye opening food for thought.

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In case anyone is asking themselves, "does North Point Church know that this form of "worship" might be a really bad idea? Maybe they are just making an innocent mistake? Maybe we should just let them have some fun and not make such a big deal out of this..."  

Here's what you need to understand: North Point Church is deliberately doing these secular cover songs in church in spite of objections from fellow Christians. They are going so far as to remove Bible verses off of their own blog, and now they have stopped allowing any comments at all. Why aren't they allowing any comments on their blog? It appears that they don't want people to read all the Bible verses that have been posted there (or the Bible verses that people have tried to post there). Here's a screen shot from August 3, 2016-over a week since they put up their "boy band/love the way you turn me on" video on July 25:

North Point Church knows exactly what it is doing: 

"Secular songs? Yes! Bible verses (that might make our strange choice of songs look bad)? NO!"

This type of "worship" service was unthinkable just a decade ago. With the huge influence of Andy Stanley and North Point Church (one of the biggest and most influential churches in the world) it's sad to think that more and more churches might be abandoning worship and replacing it with mere entertainment. Here's an article about the top 50 mega-churches in the USA (btw, this is a "puff piece" about these mega-churches). Here's an excerpt: "As an individual congregation, North Point could be much more influential in the public arena, but it chooses not to be in order to extend its influence through the training of hundreds of thousands of leaders. North Point has opted for exponential influence..."

How long before true Christians say "enough is enough!" and stop tolerating such worldliness in their churches?

For those who think it's mean, judgmental and un-loving to criticize Andy Stanley/North Point Church (or any other popular teacher/church) here's something just for you: Shocking Stuff You're Not Supposed to Know.

If you're having a knee-jerk reaction to try and defend this church's ideas, check out: Confirmation Bias: Why You Are Protecting Your False Beliefs.

Finally, here's an article that will help you be more discerning and a lot less gullible: Defusing Demonic Dirty Bombs.

Brian Houston’s Magic Act – He Makes Prosperity Gospel Disappear then Reappear

Watch the amazing rhetorical magic act from Brian Houston of Hillsong Church. He makes the prosperity gospel disappear, then he makes it reappear again. Can you catch his rhetorical sleight of hand?

He tries denying the existence of the prosperity gospel by saying there is only one gospel. That’s how he makes it disappear. Brian Houston is correct, there is only one true gospel.

He appears to make the prosperity gospel disappear like a rabbit in a hat, but as he talks further, you notice he pulls the rabbit back out of the hat as he redefines the gospel by applying prosperity attributes to it.

The redefining begins by saying the true gospel includes help for the journey. But what is that help for the journey? He says it is God’s blessing across your life, your children, your family, your marriage, your work, your business.

This gives the impression that once one trusts in the gospel, part of the gospel is that God is bound to prosper and bless your work and business. God may bless your work and business, but that is not a guaranteed result of trusting in the gospel.

Paul trusted the gospel, but he once said he was hungry, thirsty, poorly dressed, and homeless.

“To the present hour we hunger and thirst, we are poorly dressed and buffeted and homeless ”

— 1 Corinthians 4:11

That is not the blessing across all of life Brian Houston is speaking of, and he knows it.

Scripture speaks against teachers who say godliness is a means of financial gain. They’re described as having a depraved mind that is robbed of the truth.

“If anyone teaches a different doctrine and does not agree with the sound words of our Lord Jesus Christ and the teaching that accords with godliness, he is puffed up with conceit and understands nothing. He has an unhealthy craving for controversy and for quarrels about words, which produce envy, dissension, slander, evil suspicions, and constant friction among people who are depraved in mind and deprived of the truth, imagining that godliness is a means of gain.”

— 1 Timothy 6:3-5

Saying that part of the gospel is that God will bless your business, turns godliness into a means of financial gain. We shouldn’t be surprised by Houston’s current teaching. He did once write this book.

With Brian Houston it’s the same prosperity gospel act, just a different day.

Full message below.

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Read more about Brian Houston and Hillsong Church: The Brian Houston and Hillsong Cornucopia of False Doctrine, Abuse, Obfuscation & Money Generation

For those who think it's mean, judgmental and un-loving to criticize Brian Houston (or any other popular teacher) here's something just for you: Shocking Stuff You're Not Supposed to Know.

If you're having a knee-jerk reaction to try and defend Brian Houston, check out: Confirmation Bias: Why You Are Protecting Your False Beliefs.

Finally, here's an article that will help you be more discerning and a lot less gullible: Defusing Demonic Dirty Bombs.

North Point Church Blog: "No Bible Verses for You!!!"

Apparently North Point Church refuses to allow Bible verses on their blog:

Above is a screenshot from 6:53 pm of a comment made the morning of Thursday, July 28th, on the North Point Church blog. The comment is simply three Bible verses-without commentary or criticism, but they've never been published. The blog says "Your comment is awaiting moderation." Why doesn't North Point want to allow these Bible verses to be shown on their website? Maybe because they'd have to remove them... like they did earlier on this same morning:

And the next day...

they still won't post Bible verses:

Here's a screenshot from two days later (nothing has changed):

North Point Church is making it more difficult to view their "boy band" video (since we published this a few days ago), so we've made this video to remind everyone of it's questionable and foolish content:

If anyone is interested in seeing how this works, go ahead and post some Bible verses to their "boy band" video page and see what happens: http://blog.northpoint.org/90s-opener/

Here's a whole bunch of Bible verses you may want to share with them:

Shocking Stuff You're Not Supposed to Know!

Update: September 12, 2016...

"Millionaires Who Will Take Our Churches Back"-Michael Chitwood's Depraved Mind

Millionaires need to take back our churches so America can dream again, according to Michael Chitwood. Chitwood, leader of something called Potential Church, claims to be "America's #1 expert and strategist on finance. A successful American businessman, author, philanthropist. educator, motivational speaker and a Christian man." 

Chitwood directs people to look to riches as a reason for hope. Scripture directs us away from hoping in riches:

"As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy." 1 Timothy 6:17

God's Word also says that those viewing godliness as a means of gain have a depraved mind and are deprived of the truth:

"Teach and urge these things. 3 If anyone teaches a different doctrine and does not agree with the sound[b] words of our Lord Jesus Christ and the teaching that accords with godliness, 4 he is puffed up with conceit and understands nothing. He has an unhealthy craving for controversy and for quarrels about words, which produce envy, dissension, slander, evil suspicions, 5 and constant friction among people who are depraved in mind and deprived of the truth, imagining that godliness is a means of gain. 6 But godliness with contentment is great gain, 7 for we brought nothing into the world, and[c] we cannot take anything out of the world.8 But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. 9 But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. 10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs." 1 Timothy 6:2-10

"Shock-Uh-Bobba"-Watch Heidi Baker Repeatedly Violate 1 Cor. 14:27-28!

Heidi Baker boldly claims to receive many direct revelations from God, but she repeatedly violates the revelation we've already been given on the proper use of tongues found in 1 Corinthians 14:27-28. Baker repeatedly says "shock-uh-bobba" (and a lot of other strange things) without proper interpretation of her "tongues" (or "unknown languages").

“If any speak in a tongue, let there be only two or at most three, and each in turn, and let someone interpret. But if there is no one to interpret, let each of them keep silent in church and speak to himself and to God.”

— 1 Corinthians 14: 27-28

According to scripture she should be keeping this "tongue" to herself, since it's just a meaningless phrase with no interpretation. So which should we believe, the written Word of God... or "shock-uh-bobba?" 

If this supposedly "mature" woman in the "prophetic realm" doesn't understand or follow the very simple and clear instructions concerning tongues in the Word of God, why should we trust what she's saying is actually from God? In watching this video, doesn't it seem like she just enjoys throwing the words "shock-uh-bobba" (or "shock-uh-bob") around? Are we really expected to believe this silly little un-interpreted phrase is coming directly from God-in violation of His own written Word??

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Heidi Baker's Demonic Impartations at Bethel Church 

Heidi Baker's Headless Chicken Prophecy 

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For those who think it's mean, judgmental and un-loving to criticize Heidi Baker (or any other popular teacher) here's something just for you: Shocking Stuff You're Not Supposed to Know.

If you're having a knee-jerk reaction to try and defend Heidi Baker, check out: Confirmation Bias: Why You Are Protecting Your False Beliefs.

Finally, here's an article that will help you be more discerning and a lot less gullible: Defusing Demonic Dirty Bombs.

"Love the way you turn me on!" at North Point Community Church

"Love the way you turn me on." "You got the right stuff, baby."

Imagine you're sitting in church on Sunday during an official worship service, and singers on stage are singing those lyrics. Would you really want to hear lyrics about how a girl turns a guy on because she has the right stuff baby? That's what happened during a Sunday worship service at North Point Community Church-Andy Stanley's church. They opened an official Sunday worship service with hits from the 1990s.

The Apostle Paul said, "We preach Christ and Him crucified," but Stanley seems to be saying "we will put on an elaborate and worldly show to draw a crowd." 

Is the Gospel of Jesus Christ not good enough? Does it really need to be dressed up with cheesy boy band songs from the 90s? On top of that, can anyone imagine that any of those performers had any free time left to study God's Word? This is a tightly choreographed and professionally performed medley of (secular) hits; it must have taken many hours of practice and rehearsal to accomplish this. Is this what a church should be encouraging it's people to focus their precious time on? North Point and Andy Stanley have a gigantic effect on other churches in America; many smaller churches study their methods and try to emulate their "success." Lord have mercy...

Here's a quote from Andy Stanley that might help:

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For those who think it's mean, judgmental and un-loving to criticize Andy Stanley/North Point Church (or any other popular teacher/church) here's something just for you: Shocking Stuff You're Not Supposed to Know.

If you're having a knee-jerk reaction to try and defend this church's video, check out: Confirmation Bias: Why You Are Protecting Your False Beliefs.

Finally, here's an article that will help you be more discerning and a lot less gullible: Defusing Demonic Dirty Bombs.

UPDATE JULY 28, 2016!!

Apparently North Point Church refuses to allow Bible verses on their blog:

This is a screenshot from 6:53 pm of a comment made this morning. The comment is simply three Bible verses-not commentary or criticism. Why doesn't North Point want to allow these Bible verses to be shown on their website?? Maybe because they'd have to remove the Bible verses... like they did earlier on this same morning:

Read the follow-up article: No Bible Verses for You!!!

VIP Seating, Popcorn, Candy and Movies at Christ Fellowship Church

Christ Fellowship is handing out popcorn at the door, giving away VIP reserved seating, and conducting a special effects smoke & flame show with "Ironman" on stage during their official Sunday worship service. The VIP reserved seating has a mini refrigerator with drinks, hot popcorn, and candy. To potentially qualify for the VIP reserved seating you have to take a picture of yourself by a movie set at a church campus, post it to social media, and then tag the photo. Does this seem like pandering to get people to show up to you?

Is this really the type of atmosphere an official church worship service should have? This may be fine for an informal church outreach event, but this is supposed to be a gathering of the church to worship. But a big sign on stage saying "AT THE MOVIES" confesses that the focus here is on a movie. 

Below you will see the absolute distraction and mess they make of a church service...

“For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths.”

— 2 Timothy 4: 3-4

Repeating Blues Disco Prophetess Jerri Flake

Have you ever wondered what a prophetic, blues, disco, gospel, spoken-word, repetitive, R&B video would look like? If you have, we have found your answer! Meet "Prophetess" Jerri Flake and her husband/vocalist extraordinaire, Anthony. A large bottle of Pepto-Bismol will be supplied to anyone who can stomach watching all three of these bizarre videos.     

What’s the point of pointing this out? This is an over-the-top example of absolute absurdity being done in the name of God. God doesn’t need cheesy theatrics with disco ball special effects to get the message out-especially if it's just a bunch of repeating phrases that lack any real content.

His real message is already out-in the Bible!

Worship with a Piñata at Potential Church

Potential Church decided they needed a piñata during their Sunday morning service on July 10, 2016. It was part of their Beach Baptism Fiesta promotion. Watch this 3:15 video and ask yourself: Does this look like a church worship service or a middle school pep rally? Or a silly stunt to publicize the opening of a convenience store?? 

A church should have a serious tone for the worship of God and the preaching of God's word. Spending so much time with a piñata during an official worship service creates a shallow, silly tone that gives people the wrong idea about the purpose of worship, the Holiness of God and a number of other things.

A Bad Rap (About Tithing)

Christians are under the New Covenant. They are not under the Old Covenant. Tithing is an Old Covenant command, it is NOT a New Covenant ordinance. But there are a lot of seeker-driven (entertainment-driven) "churches" who have a lot of bills to pay in order to afford to keep their shows going. So they've reinstituted the Old Covenant tithe. But in order to "sell" the tithe these "churches" oftentimes have to employ the use of goofy entertainment to help ease the money out of the people's wallets.

Know the Truth
Christians are not obligated to tithe!

“Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” (2 Corinthians 9:7)

Should Christians Tithe? <<--- Great article that explains the subject very well.

The Fruit of the Spirit is Total Loss of Self-Control?!?

Apparently the folks in the false signs and wonders movement are unaware that one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit is SELF-CONTROL.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, SELF-CONTROL; against such things there is no law.”

— Galatians 5:22–23

Below is video of self-proclaimed "prophet" Stacey Campbell losing all self-control while claiming to be giving a word from the Lord at the 20th anniversary of the so-called "Toronto Blessing".

Prophet Launches Holy Ghost Missile Against Singleness

Are you stuck in singleness or the friend zone?  Can’t find marital bliss? Do you sense that maybe a witch or marine agent is the nemesis keeping you there? Looking for a remedy? Let me be more specific.

Are you looking for a prophet who can launch Holy Ghost missiles, and Holy Ghost bulldozers at the witches and marine agents keeping you in the shackles of perpetual singleness? 

I have the perfect prophet for you. Meet prophet Nicholas. He operates the Prophetic & Deliverance page on Facebook.

Prophet Nicholas can launch Holy Ghost missiles, Holy Ghost bulldozers, Holy Ghost earthquakes, and much more. He can launch them right at the witches and marine agents holding you back from complete marital bliss. Here is his Facebook post from June 18, 2016.

“Any witchcraft woman sitting on your wedding or marital sit of HONOR that is causing you marital delay, marital denial, marital barrenness, marital crisis, marital disappointment, marital divorce and breakup; Any spiritual husband or wife, marine agents that has wedded you in their sea, ocean, river or in their witchcraft coven; i stand as an oracle of God, as CHRIST ambassador, as an advocator of HEAVEN on EARTH and as a servant of the MOST HIGH GOD; I rebuke, and command Holy Ghost Earthquake, Holy Ghost Thunder, Holy Ghost buldossar, Holy Ghost Force, Holy Ghost missile and Holy Ghost Fire to unsit and consume you demon now and i wash and cover your wedding sit with the BLOOD OF JESUS in the name of JESUS CHRIST. If you believe this prophetic prayer decree Type AMEN, HOLY GHOST FIRE.
Connect/Watsapp: +2348173247508...”

You no longer have to blame singleness on your bad personality, or even your bad breath. Singleness is caused by witches and marine agents. Luckily they can be obliterated by the Holy Ghost missile launching Facebook prophet named Nicholas.

In all seriousness, please don't follow prophets claiming the ability to manhandle the sovereign third person of the Trinity. 

Prophetic Idol - Slow Jam Glam and Power Kicks

Meet Major Prophet Passion Java. You won't find him out in the wilderness wearing a garment of camel's hair while eating a steady diet of locusts and wild honey. You will find him living the glam lifestyle and giving prophetic power kicks.

The video below is a brief compilation of clips from his recent video. Does it sound like a slow jam?

You can watch his entire video below.

Paul warned about people who would teach twisted things to draw people away from Jesus. Corrupt ministries centered around a person and not Jesus.

and from among your own selves will arise men speaking twisted things, to draw away the disciples after them. (Acts 20:30)

Read this informative entry by Chris Rosebrough about the marks of a false teacher.

"Man Cuddling"-The New Way to Bring Men to the Church?

We all know how hard it is to get men to come to church. Perhaps this new trend is the missing piece of the puzzle to convince them to show up! Read more on: Is Not Satire

Men are always so hesitant to talk about topics like love, spirituality, feelings, relationships, etc., that's why they don't get too excited about attending a church service. Maybe the opportunity to spend some quiet time cuddling-with another man-is just what they need!

(In case you're worried that this is an actual "man cuddling" event, you can calm down-it's not. This is just ridiculous satirical writing to go along with the ridiculousness of this whole "revival" and the two men who are actually cuddling for some unknown reason. Bottom line: this is NOT how the Holy Spirit operates.)

The Nagging Prophetess!

Do you want to receive blessings from God? Do you want protection from the coming calamity? Do you want the latest prophetic instructions from God? Not the latest prophetic instructions from a month or two ago, but right now?? Well then stop watching Vonda Brewer's YouTube videos for free, you cheap, uncommitted phony! You need to pay $300 to become a part of her private Facebook group!! (Chris Rosebrough, you've been giving away thousands of hours of valuable material for years now-get a clue from the Vonda The Nag!) 

We've done the world a favor by speeding up Vonda's video so that the painful 17 minutes is reduced to a slightly more bearable 7:21...

In the words of the Prophetess:

All Sales Are Final!

(By the way, The Nag has disabled the "thumbs up/thumbs down" feature on this YouTube video. Maybe because she was getting "thumbs down" about 5 to 1 after we originally posted this...)