Prophetic Idol - Slow Jam Glam and Power Kicks

Meet Major Prophet Passion Java. You won't find him out in the wilderness wearing a garment of camel's hair while eating a steady diet of locusts and wild honey. You will find him living the glam lifestyle and giving prophetic power kicks.

The video below is a brief compilation of clips from his recent video. Does it sound like a slow jam?

You can watch his entire video below.

Paul warned about people who would teach twisted things to draw people away from Jesus. Corrupt ministries centered around a person and not Jesus.

and from among your own selves will arise men speaking twisted things, to draw away the disciples after them. (Acts 20:30)

Read this informative entry by Chris Rosebrough about the marks of a false teacher.

"Man Cuddling"-The New Way to Bring Men to the Church?

We all know how hard it is to get men to come to church. Perhaps this new trend is the missing piece of the puzzle to convince them to show up! Read more on: Is Not Satire

Men are always so hesitant to talk about topics like love, spirituality, feelings, relationships, etc., that's why they don't get too excited about attending a church service. Maybe the opportunity to spend some quiet time cuddling-with another man-is just what they need!

 

 

(In case you're worried that this is an actual "man cuddling" event, you can calm down-it's not. This is just ridiculous satirical writing to go along with the ridiculousness of this whole "revival" and the two men who are actually cuddling for some unknown reason. Bottom line: this is NOT how the Holy Spirit operates.)

The Nagging Prophetess!

Do you want to receive blessings from God? Do you want protection from the coming calamity? Do you want the latest prophetic instructions from God? Not the latest prophetic instructions from a month or two ago, but right now?? Well then stop watching Vonda Brewer's YouTube videos for free, you cheap, uncommitted phony! You need to pay $300 to become a part of her private Facebook group!! (Chris Rosebrough, you've been giving away thousands of hours of valuable material for years now-get a clue from the Vonda The Nag!) 

We've done the world a favor by speeding up Vonda's video so that the painful 17 minutes is reduced to a slightly more bearable 7:21...

In the words of the Prophetess:

All Sales Are Final!

(By the way, The Nag has disabled the "thumbs up/thumbs down" feature on this YouTube video. Maybe because she was getting "thumbs down" about 5 to 1 after we originally posted this...)

C. Peter Wagner Alters the "7 Mountain Mandate"-An Act of Desperation

If there's any doubt that C. Peter Wagner has very poor reasoning skills, this article (from Charisma) should clear it up:

C. Peter Wagner: I Like Donald Trump

In Wagner's NAR world of Seven Mountains Mandates (and Pixie Dust), it doesn't matter if someone is immoral and selfish-as long as they're successful. After making excuses for Trump's lack of moral integrity, he says this:

"Let me point out that influence is related to spirituality in the Religion Mountain, but this is not true in any of the other six mountains that are the molders of culture. The chief producer of influence in the six non-Religion mountains is not spirituality but success. The most successful people are the most influential."

So, in the original Seven Mountain Mandate, Christians were supposed to take over the "seven mountains" of Religion, Business, Arts, Media, Education, Family and Government. This idea is NOT from the Bible-it's something made up in the minds of Bill Bright and Loren Cunningham (and some other guys who probably want to take credit for it, too). This is, very generally speaking, another version of Dominionism; it's the idea that Christians are supposed to somehow Take Over The World!

But after years and years of teaching and proclaiming this man-made idea, and endless books, seminars and conferences, nothing has happened like they said it would. Nothing. Well, except that lots of books, seminars and conferences made a lot of money for all of the seven mountain mandate experts.

So now Wagner, the Grand Pooh-Bah of the New Apostolic Reformation, has decided to change the rules. According to his latest pro-Trump article, in order for the Seven Mountain Mandate to (finally) work, we need successful (non-Christian) people to take over the non-Religious mountains. Seriously. He really said this. Think about how bad an idea this is: Wagner wants successful non-Christians taking over the "mountains" of Education, Family and Government... oh wait, that's already happened. How's it working, Peter? This is your plan to "make America great again??" We've already got very influential people running the whole world!  

In Wagner's new and better version of the Seven Mountain Mandate, God does not require the assistance of Christians in order to take over the earth; He just needs successful people. God needs the help of greedy, rich and powerful people to accomplish His will. In the ever shrinking world of "religion" God will still utilize Christians (phew-at least we can still do something!), but for the rest of culture, anyone with a big ego and bank account is on the Lord's side. What, exactly, does successful mean? Wagner makes it very clear:

"In the Business Mountain and the Media Mountain Trump has accumulated $8-10 billion. He knows how to influence. I want to vote for a commander-in-chief, not a bishop-in-chief."

Take this ideology to it's logical conclusion, and Jesus Christ must be the most unsuccessful person of all time, followed by the Apostles and Prophets. Apparently, making billions of dollars is the measure of a man's influence. Thank you C. Peter Wagner, for proving once and for all that you're a foolish little man who values the things of this earth more than the things of God.

No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.
— Matthew 6:24
one of c. peter wagner's worthless books promoting dominionism

one of c. peter wagner's worthless books promoting dominionism


Read more about Wagner and The New Apostolic Reformation.

Wagner does NOT want anyone to know about The Charismatic Day of Infamy

Shocking Stuff You're Not Supposed to Know!

Here's a related article: Finally Found! The Roots of the Seven Mountain Mandate.

 

By the way, if a Christian wants to vote for Trump regardless of his religious beliefs because they think his ideas are best, or because they think he's not part of the corrupt establishment, etc., that's one thing. It's another thing all together to say that God has chosen Trump to do some great and mighty thing (to save America, usher in the return of Christ, etc.) and we should not only ignore his moral shortcomings, but we should applaud him as a new kind of savior. We already have a Savior, and He said "My kingdom is not of this world. If My kingdom were of this world, then My servants would be fighting, that I might not be delivered up to the Jews; but as it is, My kingdom is not of this realm." (John 18:36)

Here's a short article called Trump's Personal Jesus.

 

 

 

B. Houston on the "naked cowboy" Event: "I'm Clueless About It-But It's No Big Deal Anyway"

(somehow this video has been removed from YouTube-even though it was posted by a hillsong fan who was simply sharing this event that they attended. We will put up a copy below)

"Simila" tattooed in large script across his chest

"Simila" tattooed in large script across his chest

this is a screenshot from a guest sermon that Simila gave at cape Christian church, Cape corral, Florida on April 10, 2016

this is a screenshot from a guest sermon that Simila gave at cape Christian church, Cape corral, Florida on April 10, 2016

In an amazing example of not taking responsibility, Mega-Pastor NARpostle Brian Houston finally made a very brief blog post about what happened at his church. The basic summary could be this: "I have no idea how my staff (under my Apostolic authority) did such an inappropriate thing, but it doesn't matter anyway. And don't be so judgmental." 

Here's what he said, in entirety (posted on the Hillsong blog June 1, 2016):


"So how did someone come on stage imitating Times Square’s famous Naked Cowboy, (during a fun moment involving lots of other people), at the Colour Conference in NYC? It’s a good question, I’ve been trying to work that out myself.

I do know that Bobbie – my wife – who was convener of the conference was clearly unaware that this was going to happen and was taken back by it.  She was at the dress rehearsal and there was no sign of a naked cowboy lookalike there. Carl and Laura Lentz were also not part of the decision. I can only guess at this point, that some one thought it would be funny and sent him out there without thinking about the ramifications.

What I do know is that those who perpetuate the story, do so mainly with the help of a video, no context,  and a good dose of what the bible describes as hearsay and rumour. He was wearing proper shorts, not underwear, and he had a flag draped over him.

What I also know is that talk of apostates etc., is nonsense. Some well-meaning person just made a silly decision. It is unlikely to happen again.

Brian"


Houston is (desperately) hoping that you don't know that his own Hillsong youth pastor was the guy who dressed up as the "naked cowboy" (actually, he didn't dress up-that's the whole problem). Brian Houston is the Head Apostle of the Hillsong Media Empire, and senior members of his staff were in charge of this event and were even on stage during the event... but none of them:

  1. Know how this happened
  2. Know who actually stripped down to their shorts (you know, the guy with his name tattooed across his chest: Diego Simila)
  3. Will take responsibility-including the Grand Master Apostle Himself, Brian Houston

Here's a screen shot from the Hillsong NYC website:

Hillsong NYC Team screen shot.png

Even though Brian and Bobbie Houston are the senior pastors of this "church," they have no idea how this whole thing happened. After Brian Houston passes the buck, he then goes on to describe the real problem:

EVERYONE ELSE.

When you look at the videos and see Hillsong pastors/staff members cavorting with their fellow pastor, Diego Simila, a.k.a. "The Naked Cowboy/Youth Pastor" you are not to make any judgements! Just let them all have their fun and say nothing... because you can't possibly know what's really going on by watching the videos of what's going on... made by people who were right there watching what was going on. Got it? Obey NARpostle Brian Houston and move along-nothing to see here.

And then for the zinger at the end he writes: "What I also know is that talk of apostates etc., is nonsense. Some well-meaning person just made a silly decision. It is unlikely to happen again." This is the tactic of a cunning politician who knows how to divert attention away from serious problems that should be addressed.

Dear Brian Houston, "this talk of apostates" is not nonsense. It's true that this "naked cowboy" thing is actually a relatively minor issue when compared to all the false teaching, worldliness and scandalous cover-ups that are ongoing at Hillsong. This little incident is like a stupid college stunt (that was engineered by adults who should've known better). So let's move on; here's a lot of information about your heretical, apostate, messed up church: The Brian Houston & Hillsong Cornucopia of False Doctrine, Abuse, Obfuscation, & Money Generation

As soon as this Hillsong blog post went online, I made the following comment (nobody had made any other comments yet):

About 20 minutes after I made that comment, the comments were closed: 

UPDATE! As of June 3rd, 2016, it appears that Diego Simila is being removed from the internet. It appears that someone is very busy covering up the fact that Diego Simila was portraying the "naked cowboy" character, and they want to pretend he's not actually a pastor at their church (for sure, Brian Houston has done this in his blog post). It's bad enough that Hillsong often causes their followers to blindly trust whatever false doctrine they'e being taught, but Hillsong goes so far as to manipulate the appearance of their organization on the internet! It's a not a real church-it's a giant corporate entity that uses marketing tricks, media manipulation and propaganda to create the illusion that "God is doing something great at Hillsong!"  

And Moses said to Aaron, “What did this people do to you that you have brought such a great sin upon them?” And Aaron said, “Let not the anger of my lord burn hot. You know the people, that they are set on evil. For they said to me, ‘Make us gods who shall go before us. As for this Moses, the man who brought us up out of the land of Egypt, we do not know what has become of him.’ So I said to them, ‘Let any who have gold take it off.’ So they gave it to me, and I threw it into the fire, and (poof) out came this calf.
— Exodus 32:21-24 (No, Aaron didn't actually say "poof")

For those who think it's mean, judgmental and un-loving to criticize Brian Houston (or any other popular teacher) here's something just for you: Shocking Stuff You're Not Supposed to Know.

If you're having a knee-jerk reaction and want to defend Brian Houston, check out: Confirmation Bias: Why You Are Protecting Your False Beliefs.

Finally, here's an article that will help you be more discerning and a lot less gullible: Defusing Demonic Dirty Bombs.

Release Angel Armies!! (but first send $39.00)

NARpostle Tim Sheets tells outlandish stories that would make Mark Twain blush. Joseph Smith (the guy who founded the Mormons) could have taken lessons from this guy. Here's the carnival barker, TV host and lovable nut-job Sid Roth, attempting to make this all sound plausible enough for you to pull the trigger on spending $39 that would have been better spent on a lifetime supply of extra shoelaces:  

This whole episode is a textbook example of New Apostolic Reformation nonsense, taken to the looney bin and back again.

Here's what Tim Sheets and Sid Roth don't want you to read: Shocking Stuff You're Not Supposed to Know!

The Naked Cowboy: He's a Hillsong Pastor?!

Pastor Ben Houston on stage with fellow pastor and "naked cowboy" Diego Simila

Pastor Ben Houston on stage with fellow pastor and "naked cowboy" Diego Simila

The big story last week was about the "naked cowboy" appearing at a Hillsong women's conference in New York. The "naked cowboy" (who actually has underwear/briefs on) turns out to be a Hillsong youth pastor. In case you don't know, the "naked cowboy" is a real character who walks around Times Square in New York City. So it appears that the staff at Hillsong thought it would be funny for someone to portray that guy on stage at this woman's conference. Once again, Hillsong has been caught on camera doing something questionable and inappropriate, but we're supposed to trust them and not believe what we can see with our own eyes. Dr. Michael Brown, the very respected and scholarly Charismatic leader said this:

Yes, Dr. Brown, it's accurate. Are you gonna ignore this obvious and blatant example of charismatic worldliness-you know, just like you normally do?? Here's an article from the great researchers at Church Watch Central that fills in the details of this situation: Church Watch Central

The Naked Cowboy Appears at Hillsong Women's Conference

Hillsong continues to astound by their complete and utter disregard for how scripture instructs Christians to conduct their lives in this present evil age. First they brought us Sleezy Silent Night. Then they had the sexual pervert Austin Powers appear at their women's conference in London and now they'e had The Naked Cowboy appear at their women's conference in New York (actually it's their youth pastor dressed up as the "naked cowboy"). We fear to see what they have in store for their next conference.


For more (serious) information about Hillsong check out: The Brian Houston & Hillsong Cornucopia of False Doctrine, Abuse, Obfuscation & Money Generation

For those who think it's mean, judgmental and un-loving to criticize Brian Houston (or any other popular teacher) here's something just for you: Shocking Stuff You're Not Supposed to Know.

If you're having a knee-jerk reaction to try and defend Hillsong, check out: Confirmation Bias: Why You Are Protecting Your False Beliefs.

Finally, here's an article that will help you be more discerning and a lot less gullible: Defusing Demonic Dirty Bombs.

The Pandemonium of "Prophecy" Open Mic

If you've never witnessed the bizarre pandemonium of "prophecy" open mic at Glory of Zion then grab yourself some drinking straws, padding and duct tape and get ready for one of the most insane things that you've ever seen done in the name of the Holy Spirit.

After watching this you will either think The Holy Spirit is a blathering idiot and is incapable of coherent and lucid communication or these people are under the deception of a really strong delusion. 

WARNING: If you watch the video below, you can never get those minutes back. Just for fun, be sure to watch for the cameo appearance of Dana Carvey (at 3:10 into the video) where he resurrects the character Garth (from the movie Wayne's World) and brilliantly combines it with the Church Lady character to create the Angry Plundering Lady!

Watch video at this link: Raid the Caves and Crossover - Passover 5776 Friday Morning

"Press in and take the plunder!!!"

Austin Powers Appears at Hillsong Women's Conference

In the truth is stranger than fiction category: Austin Powers, an icon of sexual perversion made an appearance at the Hillsong women's conference (Colour Conference).

Hillsong London senior pastor Gary Clarke at the Hilsong women's Colour Conference playing the part of Austin Powers while Bobbie Houston watches on.

Hillsong London senior pastor Gary Clarke at the Hilsong women's Colour Conference playing the part of Austin Powers while Bobbie Houston watches on.

Why on Earth would a church's women's conference want an icon of sexual perversion to speak to their women and young ladies? What's next, a Jarod impersonator speaking at a Hillsong youth event? 

“But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints.” (Ephesians 5:3)

HT: Church Watch Central

Body Prayer?!?!

This is what happens when you reject the authority of scripture and just start making your own stuff up. 

Apparently, body prayers begin with "Namaste".

Compare what you just watched to what Jesus said about prayer:

“Now Jesus was praying in a certain place, and when he finished, one of his disciples said to him, “Lord, teach us to pray, as John taught his disciples.” And he said to them, “When you pray, SAY: “Father, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come. Give us each day our daily bread, and forgive us our sins, for we ourselves forgive everyone who is indebted to us. And lead us not into temptation.”” (Luke 11:1–4)

C. Peter Wagner $400 Apostolic Bargain!!

Wanna learn from a Super Apostle?! Wanna "Activate your Five-Fold Destiny" AND get your "Apostolic Breakthrough?" All it takes is a credit card and a large dose of gullibility. To avoid difficult math problems every DVD is $200...

(screen shot from the wagner Leadership institute)

(screen shot from the wagner Leadership institute)

“Unlike so many, we do not peddle the word of God for profit. On the contrary, in Christ we speak before God with sincerity, as those sent from God.”
— 2 Corinthians 2:17
“and in their greed they will exploit you with false words; their judgment from long ago is not idle, and their destruction is not asleep.”
— 2 Peter 2:3

(Here are a LOT more Bible verses that prosperity preaching false teachers hope you never read)

Bill Johnson's $400 Thumb Drive

New Apostolic Reformation Cornucopia of False Doctrine, Dominionism, Charismania and Deception

Bill Johnson Lies to Christianity Today Magazine?

In the May 2016 issue of Christianity Today, Bill Johnson is asked, "So, what are your thoughts on the New Apostolic Reformation?" and he responds,

"I'm not completely clear on what it is." 

This is almost like Hillary Clinton saying "I'm not completely clear on what the Democrat Party is." Here's a very detailed article from Churchwatch Central about this breathtaking statement: 

Churchwatch Central

Here's another article from the blog Spirit of Error: Yes, Bethel and Bill Johnson are part of the New Apostolic Reformation

C. Peter Wagner invented the term New Apostolic Reformation and then claimed that he was in charge of it-which means that he decided who the "Super Apostles" would be. Bill Johnson is at the top of the list. But because the NAR is composed of various sub-groups, there isn't a master list; but Bill Johnson is part of Revival Alliance, which is 100% NAR. Most importantly, "NARpostle" Bill Johnson teaches all the things that the NAR teaches! The absolute low point of this movement was the Charismatic Day of Infamy (and they hope you don't know about it).

Bill Johnson doesn't want you to know about the false NAR teachings that are being exposed, so he's trying to pretend like there's no such thing as the NAR. Before the NAR there was the "Third Wave" and before that there was the "Latter Rain Movement." It seems that these groups eventually encounter difficulty trying to defend their un-biblical beliefs, so they use a new name to distance themselves from the controversy.

Here's C. Peter Wagner's 1988 book that was making statements and promises identical to the New Apostolic Reformation (only he was calling it the Third Wave back then):

We at Pirate Christian Media highly recommend the book: A New Apostolic Reformation? by R. Douglas Geivett & Holly Pivec for those who want to learn more about this gigantic, morphing movement that is eating up the church.

Here's a lot more information: The New Apostolic Reformation Cornucopia of False Doctrine, Dominionism, Charismania and Deception

Bill Hybels Talks About Popeye (Much) More Than Jesus

In his sermon entitled "Unwavering: A Story of Obedience" Bill Hybels mentions the cartoon character Popeye dozens of times-he specifically quotes him fifteen times! He does this because God gave him a direct revelation: God told Bill Hybels to write and preach about our "Holy Discontent," which is a term he invented and repeats dozens of times throughout this sermon (which just happens to be the title of his book). Instead of using exegesis to draw the meaning out of the Bible, Hybels crams his concept of Holy Discontent into the story of Nehemiah and then uses Popeye to back up this theory. He doesn't mention Jesus at all until the end of the sermon (when he wants to inflict guilt upon his listeners). But don't worry, even though this is all conjured up in Hybels mind, he says God gave it to him. 

Listen to Todd Wilken give an amazing sermon review on this episode of Issues Etc.

"Holy Discontent" is a variation on the Purpose Driven Life; it's the idea that God didn't just die on the cross to just pay for your sins (because that isn't enough in seeker-friendly theology); God really wants you to take whatever you're most angry about and act on it. Basically, the Gospel is all about how God wants you to do stuff-lot's and lot's of stuff. According to Bill Hybels, God will look at your hands to see if they're all scarred and bloodied (like His) when we get to heaven. If you haven't done enough stuff (and your hands are nice and pretty), then God will be very disappointed with you. Get to work, Christian! Don't you wanna be like Popeye, Bono, Martin Luther-King Jr., Nelson Mandela and Bill Hybels?!

For I determined to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ, and Him crucified.
— 1 Corinthians 2:2

For those of you who think it's mean and un-loving to criticize Bill Hybels (or any other popular teacher) here's a list of Bible verses to consider: Shocking Stuff You're Not Supposed to Know.

Finally, here's an important article that will help you be more discerning and a lot less gullible: Defusing Demonic Dirty Bombs.

The Lou Engle Kundalini Workout Program!

Wanna lose a few more pounds? Well it's time to get spiritual-and get in shape!

Follow along with Lou and you'll be sweating off that extra weight in no time! Before you can say "who babba kanda" you'll be exhibiting your own personal Tourette Syndrome! Shabba!!

Jesus asks "What Do You Want Me to Do for You?" says Victoria Osteen

 

Here's a 44 second clip from Victoria Osteen where she describes Jesus more like Santa Claus or a genie in a bottle than the Sovereign LORD of the Universe:

 

Victoria says, "When he walked through the streets, everyone he came in contact with, a positive change occurred in their life."

Really?? Hmmm...

Jesus answered, ‘If you want to be perfect, go sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.’ When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth.
— Matthew 19: 21-22
The Pharisees came and began to question Jesus. To test him, they asked him for a sign from heaven. He sighed deeply and said, ‘Why does this generation ask for a miraculous sign? I tell you the truth, no sign will be given to it.’ Then he left them, got back in the boat and crossed to the other side.
— Mark 8: 11-13
‘And there were many in Israel with leprosy in the time of Elisha the prophet, yet not one of them was cleansed-only Naaman the Syrian.’ All the people in the synagogue were furious when they heard this. They got up, drove him out of town, and took him to the brow of a hill on which the town was built in order to throw him down the cliff.
— Luke 4: 27-30
‘Woe to you, because you are like unmarked graves, which men walk over without knowing it.” One of the experts in the law answered him, ‘Teacher, when you say these things you insult us also.’ Jesus replied, ‘And you experts in the law, woe to you, because you load people down with burdens they can hardly carry, and you yourselves will not lift one finger to help them.’ (vs. 53) When Jesus left there, the Pharisees and the teachers of the law began to oppose him fiercely and to besiege him with questions, waiting to catch him in something he might say.
— Luke 11: 44-46; 53
‘Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me and I in him. Just as the living Father sent me and I live because of the Father, so the one who feeds on me will live forever because of me. This is the bread that came down from heaven. Your forefathers ate manna and died, but he who feeds on this bread will live forever.’ He said this while teaching in the synagogue in Capernaum. On hearing it, many of his disciples said, ‘This is hard teaching. Who can accept it?’ (vs. 66) From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him.
— John 6: 56-60; 66

Here's the full 5 minute video where this clip came from: Victoria Osteen-A New Way of Thinking

Here's an episode of Fighting for the Faith with a segment about Joel and Victoria Osteen.

For those of you who think it's mean and un-loving to criticize Victoria Osteen (or any other popular teacher) here's a list of Bible verses to consider: Shocking Stuff You're Not Supposed to Know.

Finally, here's an important article that will help you be more discerning and a lot less gullible: Defusing Demonic Dirty Bombs.

Holy Spirit Uses Smart Phone to Help Shawn Bolz Do Cold Readings

 

The Holy Spirit must find it so much easier to transmit information now, thanks to hand held computing devices:

These people are teaching that Jesus Christ giving His life on the cross isn't enough; to really show His love people need to receive fortune telling-style "prophecy." 

 

More information about Shawn Bolz's senior pastor, Bill Johnson and Bethel Church: The Bill Johnson Cornucopia of False Teaching, Bible-Twisting and General Absurdity

Betrayed With a Kiss: Azusa Now's One World Religion

The False Miracles and Doctrine of Azusa Now-Fighting for the Faith

Shawn Bolz posted this photo with his good friend Todd Bentley on Facebook after this event:

Todd Bentley is the fraudulent revivalist who was at the center of The Charismatic Day of Infamy 

Shawn Bolz, Bill Johnson, Todd Bentley, Lou Engle and most of the people on stage at Azusa Now are hoping that you don't know about their history of false prophecies, scandal and non-Biblical teachings.