SYNERGIZE: The Ox and Eagle Anointings Collide! LeStrange and LeClaire Spoof Themselves

This really sounds like something made up as a satire post... but it's real. It would be fun to somehow make this more ridiculous, but we can't figure out a way to do that. It might be worth noting that Ryan LeStrange has recently adopted his new "Do These Make Me Look Smarter?" eyeglasses, so maybe he's received new revelatory powers as a result.

They are actually SELLING tickets to this festival of idiocy:

Thanks to Is Not Satire for the scoop on this unbelievably stupid event!

The Prophet Bob Jones: "A Three Foot Tall Being Rang My Doorbell"

In this video interview, it only took about two minutes for the late "prophet" Bob Jones to prove himself to be a delusional nutcase on the order of cult leader Joseph Smith. Amazingly, Bob Jones is at the very heart and center of the New Apostolic Reformation; his "prophetic words" are responsible for establishing many of the major ministries associated with the NAR.

"Throw An Infant Against the Wall and Kick It Like a Football" On Sid Roth's Show

The horrifying "stories" of Smith Wigglesworth need to be re-enacted, according to Sid Roth. Here's an edited version of this recent "It's Supernatural" broadcast:

If you're a glutton for punishment, here's the entire show:

Although this teaching on Sid Roth's show sounds insane and extremely dangerous, it appears that Dr. Michael Brown approves.

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Here's an important article about Smith Wigglesworth: "If You Can't Heal 'Em, Beat 'Em?"

Smith Wigglesworth was the inspiration for false teacher and proven fraud, Todd Bentley, among others. This bizarre teaching resulted in The Charismatic Day of Infamy.  

NAR Publisher Larry Sparks: "We Need to Be 'Weird' Again"

Yeah Larry, that's the problem with the New Apostolic Reformation: It needs to get weird again.

This is an article claiming that the Holy Spirit wants to do something, but He can't. He's waiting for enough people to accept weirdness as a true sign of His working. As long as Christians are hesitant to embrace weird (and unbiblical) manifestations the Holy Spirit has no choice but to withdraw His presence. According to Larry Sparks, there are only two choices: either stale, dry, dead religion OR a true revival that is intrinsically weird. He says this: "Every time God moved in Scripture or recent history, His movement—by and large—was accompanied by weird phenomena."

Come on people! I wanna see you squirming around on the floor and flopping like fish! Or you could at least laugh hysterically like drunken fools. Show me that you really mean business by behaving insane, or I’m going to take my toys and go home!
— Things the Holy Spirit Never Said
Randy Clark Making a Lady Scream in Pain by "Anointing" her

Randy Clark Making a Lady Scream in Pain by "Anointing" her

Destiny House Publishing is a New Apostolic Reformation book publisher that publishes Bill Johnson, Kris Vallotton, Danny Silk, T. D. Jakes, Myles Munroe, Sid Roth, Doug Addison, Chuck Pierce, Heidi Baker, James Goll, John Crowder, John & Carol Arnott, Rick Joyner, Patricia King, Todd Bentley, Shawn Bolz, Randy Clark... and DR. MICHAEL BROWN (but don't worry, he's not a part of the NAR).

Here's a brand new Destiny House book that features Bill Johnson, Lou Engle, James Goll and... DR. MICHAEL BROWN:

But don't worry, Dr. Michael Brown is not a part of the New Apostolic Reformation.

Coming To Church Will Improve Viking's Chances of Winning the Super Bowl

Is your church having trouble attracting potential customers? No problemo! All you have to do to attract more people is tell them that their favorite sports team will have a better chance of winning The Big Game if they show up to pray. What could possibly go wrong with this church growth strategy?

Case and Point: This promo video from New Life Church Souix Falls

You'll notice that the video is intended to be funny, however there is some REALLY bad theology mixed in with it.

Jeff Jansen Was SO Hungry For God That Jesus Came Into His Room and Wrote This!

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Jeff Jansen is a lot more hungry than you are, so Jesus will not write "I Love You" into a rainbow on your bedroom wall. Sorry. 

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The Problem is Religion Has Told Us We're Sinners Saved by Grace

Tavner Smith of Venue "Church" believes that the reason that Christians don't experience their best lives now is because they believe the lie that religion told them that they're sinners saved by grace. The weird thing is that The Apostle Paul, as he was preparing to leave this life and be martyred for his faith in Christ wrote:

“The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life.” (1 Timothy 1:15–16)

 

Lady Hekma is Greater than Elijah (Just Ask Her!)

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Her gullible followers seem to agree:

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For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.
— Romans 12:3

God Needs Your Sweet Talk Lovin’ – T.D. Jakes

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God apparently needs your sweet lovin’. According to T.D. Jakes, God is a bit emotionally needy, and he may be holding back answers to prayer because you haven’t given him the amount of lovin’ he needs to hear.

On January 19, 2018 T.D. Jakes made a Facebook post promising breakthrough and answer to prayer if people simply opened their mouth and told God how much he means to them. He says God needs to hear how much he means to us.

Good Morning

The breakthrough doesn’t come through the word, it comes through the worship! The greatest way to gain your breakthrough is through opening your mouth and telling God how much He means to you. Love has to express itself, and to the best way to show it is to worship Him in spirit and in truth ( John 4:24). Just like you would tell someone who is close to you, God needs to hear it as well. He is a passionate God. Whatever He feels, He feels passionately. He knows what you are enduring. He gave his body to His bride, all He asks in return is your worship. Worship brings relationship with God and as you draw closer to Him, He will reveal more of Himself to you.
— T.D. Jakes

He is portraying an idolatrous image of God. God isn’t emotionally needy. He doesn’t need to hear how great he is, and God isn’t giving out goodies in exchange for some flattery.

The God of T.D. Jakes is part God and part emotionally needy lover. God doesn’t need anything. Portraying God as anything less than the self-sufficient God that he is, is to portray a false image of God.

33 Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways!

34 “For who has known the mind of the Lord,
or who has been his counselor?”
35 “Or who has given a gift to him
that he might be repaid?”

36 For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen.
— Romans 11:33-36 (ESV)
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Cindy Jacobs Explains Her Psychic Ability as "Spiritual Reading"

If you want to give people Encountersyou should listen to these fortune-telling techniques developed by Cindy Jacobs. She calls her psychic/prophetic readings "spiritual readings" and she gives this sage advice: "Don't try to go for theology, don't try to go for all this other stuff, go for the soul of the person." This is the Encounter Gospel! At about 8:30 into this video you'll hear Cindy explaining how to do a "cold reading," too.

There is no one who understands; there is no one who seeks God.
— Romans 3:11

 

Do NOT doubt this prophetess! This is the woman who brought much clarity into the church last year when she revealed this new "Word from God:"

Cindy Jacobs Reveals Powerful One-Word Prophecy: "BASTA!!"

Here are many episodes of Fighting for the Faith that examine the teaching of Cindy Jacobs: Cindy Jacobs on Fighting for the Faith


Shawn Bolz Tells Sid Roth: "The Angel of Finance Gave Me His Keys!"

Shawn Bolz ("The Smartphone Prophet") was on Sid Roth's TV show (this was years ago) and told this story about getting really important keys from the Angel of Finance:

I knew that these were keys to resources that Jesus Himself needed in this generation to unlock for Him so He can get the souls that these things would win.
— Shawn Bolz

Lucky for everyone on planet earth, this heavenly visitation was recorded in a book that Bolz is selling (with a foreword from the NARpostle Bill Johnson!):

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Here's another video from when Shawn was promoting his book; notice how the details of his story are different this time:

Shawn Bolz has moved on from this "angelic visitation" shtick to his latest role as the "Seer" who does cold readings but sometimes needs a lifeline as he mimics the Long Island Medium and uses his smartphone to hear from God...

Paula White Blathers on for Almost Seven Minutes; Basically Wants More Money

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Scholars of the Old and New Testament are currently debating the exact content of this important new video from Paula White-Cain, but the current consensus is that she wants people to send her a LOT of money. This would appear to comply with every other time she has had anything to say. Paula has a clever name for this "you should send me money" theology: First Fruits.

Although some may describe this as a sickening and deplorable money grab, it's important to remember that she promises to send donors of $50 or more some useless books about something or other. 

Here's the video:


Here's what the Apostle Paul said about preachers getting rich:

2 Corinthians 2:17  “Unlike so many, we do not peddle the word of God for profit. On the contrary, in Christ we speak before God with sincerity, as those sent from God.”

1 Timothy 6:5, 9-10  “...and constant friction between people of corrupt mind, who have been robbed of the truth and who think that godliness is a means to financial gain. (9) But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. (10) For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.”

1 Corinthians 5:11-13  "But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of a brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler-not even to eat with such a one. For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? God judges those on the outside. Remove the evil person from among you."

Titus 1:7-11  “For the overseer must be above reproach as God's steward, not self-willed, not quick-tempered, not addicted to wine, not pugnacious, not fond of sordid gain, but hospitable, loving what is good, sensible, just, devout, self-controlled, holding fast the faithful word which is in accordance with the teaching, so that he will be able both to exhort in sound doctrine and to refute those who contradict. For there are many rebellious men, empty talkers and deceivers, especially those of the circumcision, who must be silenced because they are upsetting whole families, teaching things they should not teach for the sake of sordid gain.”

 

Here's what Jesus said about getting rich:

Matthew 6:19-21 "Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

Matthew 6:24  “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.”

Luke 6:20-26  And he lifted up his eyes on his disciples, and said: “Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God. Blessed are you who are hungry now, for you shall be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now, for you shall laugh. Blessed are you when people hate you and when they exclude you and revile you and spurn your name as evil, on account of the Son of Man! Rejoice in that day, and leap for joy, for behold, your reward is great in heaven; for so their fathers did to the prophets. But woe to you who are rich, for you have received your consolation. Woe to you who are full now, for you shall be hungry. Woe to you who laugh now, for you shall mourn and weep. Woe to you, when all people speak well of you, for so their fathers did to the false prophets."

 

Here's what the Apostle Peter says about preachers getting rich:

2 Peter 2:1-3  “But false prophets also arose among the people, just as there will also be false teachers among you, who will secretly introduce destructive heresies, even denying the Master who bought them, bringing swift destruction upon themselves. Many will follow their sensuality, and because of them the way of the truth will be maligned; and in their greed they will exploit you with false words; their judgment from long ago is not idle, and their destruction is not asleep.”
 

Here's what the Apostle John says about getting rich:

1 John 2:15-17 "Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you. For all that is in the world-the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions-is not from the Father but is from the world. And this world is fading away, along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever."

Topless Dancing at Christalignment "Workshop"-Does Kris Vallotton Approve?

What you're about to see is a brief video from Christalignment's own YouTube page; (here's the original uncensored version... which was removed the same day as this article). Their description says this: "Every evening the team offer drumming/dancing free workshops which are so much fun and have plenty of good vibes. We believe this is an important expression of community and oneness in the whole tribe."

Just in case anyone thinks this is not from Christalignment, here's a screenshot of the video from Christalignment's own YouTube channel on January 5, 2018 (we've blurred the woman's breasts):

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What the Bethel-approved ministry Christalignment fails to mention is that some of the women in this video are dancing topless to this tribal drumbeat; one of them puts her shirt on near the beginning while another happily dances topless the whole time, while the Christalignment team smiles and laughs as they pound the drums. Putting the best possible spin on this, someone could say that the topless woman just suddenly appeared and it isn't Christalignment's fault... but Christalignment made the deliberate decision to film this and then load it onto their YouTube channel.

We made a censored version for this Pirate Christian Media page:

Does Kris Vallotton approve of this? He (sort of) approves of the Christalignment "Christian Tarot Cards" (as long as they are called "Destiny Cards"). Bethel Pastor/Missionary Ben Fitzgerald is the son of Christalignment's leaders: Jen and Ken Hodge (you can see Ken with gray hair playing a drum). Theresa Dedmon, one of the many "pastors" at Bethel has written several blog posts now in support of Christalignment and "Destiny Cards." Does she also believe that topless tribal dancing "is an important expression of community and oneness in the whole tribe?"

Christalignment thinks it's a good idea to take and then post photos of the naked people who visit their booth for "Destiny Card" readings:

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Christalignment claims to be "undercover" at these New Age/Pagan events so that they can reach people who normally reject Christianity. They want to show people God's love by giving them Destiny Readings, instead of explaining the ("old-fashioned" and "religious") Gospel message of Christ crucified for our sins.

For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when He comes in His glory, and the glory of the Father and of the holy angels.
— Jesus (Luke 9:26)
For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek.
— The Apostle Paul (Romans 1:16)

 

Here's a new video from Chris Rosebrough that explains the Christalignment/Destiny Card issue: 

 

Here's Ben Fitzgerald "grave-sucking:" 

 

Here's a Drum Circle in the Bethel Prayer Room:

 

NOBODY conjures up the "spirit world" better than Rick Joyner's Morningstar Ministries! Warning: This is very disturbing:

Tammy Sue Bakker Sings "You Can Make It"

(We apologize in advance, as we are unable to refund any minutes lost and/or time wasted while watching this video.)

You Can Make It (but it’ll help if you have a basement stocked with food buckets).
— Apostle Sellingstuff

You enjoyed that, didn't you?! Here's more:

Jim Bakker End of the World Food Bucket Bee Gees Video

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Kris Vallotton RUNS From His Own Facebook Post!!

Kris Vallotton is trying to deceive the very people who should know better-the people who read what he says on his Facebook page! Within a 24 hour period he completely contradicted himself, without any explanation. He now fully endorses the use of "Destiny Cards" to help people to "have an encounter with God." The Christalignment Ministry page has also changed the description of their practices to hide the disturbing similarity to tarot card reading.

Yesterday, he harshly criticized (without naming them) Ken and Jenny Hodge for using "Christian Tarot Cards," and he spoke as if these nameless people were not really connected to Bethel Church at all.  Here's a screenshot of his post from yesterday that he erased later in the same day:

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Today he calls them "amazing people" being "destroyed by fake news." 

Here's what Vallotton posted this morning:

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What?? Vallotton himself is the one who was very critical of these people just 24 hours ago! 

Kris Vallotton IS the fake news! 

 

I (Steven Kozar) was able to briefly comment on Vallotton's Facebook page, and then he blocked me from commenting:

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Kris Vallotton is shamelessly manipulating his followers, just like Michael Brown. Vallotton is essentially saying to his gullible followers: "I know that I wrote a very public statement just yesterday condemning the practices of Ken and Jenny Hodge's Christalignment Ministry and then I got all sorts of negative feedback from you people, and then I deleted the whole debate from my wall... but today I want us all to pretend it never happened, so I can now appear to be supportive of their ministry. Okay?" Vallotton's gullible followers seem to be saying "Okay Kris, we will believe anything you tell us."

 Here's the entire article from yesterday: Kris Vallotton and Bethel Cannot Escape Link to New Age Occultism

Here's a new (and disturbing) development as of January 5, 2018: Topless Dancing at Christalignment "Workshop"-Does Kris Vallotton Approve?

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Here's something that false teachers hope you never see: Shocking Stuff you're Not Supposed to Know!

If you want to see how Kris Vallotton is a horrendous Bible twister, listen to this episode of Fighting for the Faith.

Here's a TON of articles all in one place: The Bill Johnson Cornucopia of False Teaching

Titus 1:7-11  “For the overseer must be above reproach as God's steward, not self-willed, not quick-tempered, not addicted to wine, not pugnacious, not fond of sordid gain, but hospitable, loving what is good, sensible, just, devout, self-controlled, holding fast the faithful word which is in accordance with the teaching, so that he will be able both to exhort in sound doctrine and to REFUTE THOSE WHO CONTRADICT. For there are many rebellious men, empty talkers and deceivers, especially those of the circumcision, who must be silenced because they are upsetting whole families, teaching things they should not teach for the sake of sordid gain.”

James 3: 1 "Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness." 

Titus 2:1 “But as for you, speak the things which are fitting for sound doctrine.”

Galatians 1:6-9  “I am amazed that you are so quickly deserting Him who called you by the grace of Christ, for a different gospel; which is really not another; only there are some who are disturbing you and want to distort the gospel of Christ. But even if we, or an angel from heaven, should preach to you a gospel contrary to what we have preached to you, he is to be accursed! As we have said before, so I say again now, if any man is preaching to you a gospel contrary to what you received, he is to be accursed!

Kris Vallotton and Bethel Cannot Escape Link to New Age Occultism

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Kris Vallotton and Bill Johnson are in a quagmire of New Age Occultism of their own making, but no matter how many posts they erase, or how much they tell their own cover stories, the truth is that they don't teach biblical Christianity and it's (hopefully) starting to become more obvious.

At Bethel Church you find these things:

  • The strange "Latter Rain" and "New Breed" false doctrine leftover from creepy cult-leader William Branham

  • The prosperity gospel heresy of Benny Hinn, and many others (including disgusting blog posts from Kris Vallotton, like this)

  • A witch who gets positive and affirming "prophetic words" from Bethel "prophets" who tell her to continue her witchcraft

  • Bill Johnson, Kris Vallotton, and other Bethel staff contributed to a book that openly encourages Christians to "take back truths" from the New Age to become more effective Christians

 

The Bethel "gospel" is has nothing to do with sinners repenting of their sin and believing in the atoning sacrifice of Christ to pay for their sins; the Bethel "gospel" is largely focused on telling people how wonderful and loved they are, and helping them to discover their "Destiny."   

Bill Johnson and Kris Vallotton are famous for creating a whole new type of church, where they are known as new Apostles who get direct words from God to guide Christians "off the map" of orthodox, biblical Christianity, which they continually deride as old-fashioned, ineffective and "religious."

In short, nobody goes to Bethel (or their "School of Supernatural Ministry") to learn "traditional" Christianity because they teach that we're in a new era where everyone can hear directly from God (outside of the Bible) and where there are no rules about how to do anything anymore. The "spirit leads us" now. Bethel tells people to experiment and make lots of mistakes until they finally figure out how to "prophecy" or heal people or whatever.

So now a group in Australia called "Christalignment" which has been following the Bethel methods to a tee, is getting thrown under the bus of Kris Vallotton, Bill Johnson & Company. This couple, Ken and Jenny Hodge, are the founders of Christalignment:

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These people are committed to fitting in with hippy/New Age types, so they dress the part and try to be relatable to that crowd. The people of Christalignment give "readings" using their own specially painted "prophetic" cards so that people can learn about their "destiny" or receive some supernatural information about themselves. Does this sound like a physic reading using tarot cards? Yes, of course it does, that's the whole idea! These people are slipping into all sorts of New Age events in order to reach the non-Christian world with what they sincerely believe is the Gospel. That's what they say and believe. This article will not deal with the question of whether these are good things for Christians to be doing; that's for another day.

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These are probably incredibly devoted and caring people who have the best of intentions. Here are some testimonials from their website:

What Our Clients Say About Us

"Wow... I think I read your Dream interpretation 5 times, put it down, pondered on it and re-read it. That is so spot on as to how my life has been. I cannot express to you just how much I am ministered to right now. So many years of waiting for an interpretation.... and it ministers to me more in my season now than had I gotten it earlier. I am writing this with big fat tears of much gratitude rolling down my cheeks right now. Thank you." -Michele

"So true, big shift happened. Life is amazing. Thanks for your guidance. Will let you know when I remember my next dream." -Bianca

"I attended the MBS festival in Sydney yesterday and had a fantastic reading with one of your readers (the lady with the purple hair)." -Greta

"I wish to thank the people at Dandenong market this morning. You have changed my health and mindset. Again.... Thank you." -Tracey

"I met you today at Mornington, Jenny, and wanted to tell you how much more relaxed and positive I feel. Thank you so very much." -Heather

"Thank you so much to the guy & gals at Dandy market today, sorry forgot your names; was just what I needed today - some confirmations & healing as well, so many trials & tribulations have been happening. Thanks again for understanding." -Maria

"Today I went to the Mind Body Spirit festival in the city. Wow, I was blown away by how accurate a reading I had done by a lovely lady named Ally from Christalignment." -Heidi

"Very impressed by Christalignment insights from Spirit at Dandenong market which gave me answers to my questions. Authority, peace, transition, transformation to the Third Heaven. Bliss."-Anne

"I went two times to Christalignment, both being very beneficial to me. I always believed in a higher power and intuitive souls, earth angels. Chau and the team helped me get some direction to where I am in life and some deep relief from a long 5 years of depression. I felt calm and accepted by this lovely group of souls. Thank you guys." -Erin

 

Notice that these testimonials have nothing to do with the Gospel of Jesus Christ. But they seem to be really effective at making people feel some kind of genuine spiritual experience. So what does this have to do with Kris Vallotton and Bethel? Well, today he reacted to this article from Pulpit and Pen (that made the practices of Christalignment more widely known) and he spoke against the apparent "Christian tarot card" reading. Notice how Vallotton speaks as if these are people he knows nothing about:

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Kris Vallotton tries his best to distance himself by claiming no responsibility for the practices of Christalignment, but he quickly discovered that he couldn't brush this off. Bethel is just too closely associated with Christalignment and people started confronting him on his Facebook wall, including Ken and Jenny Hodge, who claim to be the parents of Ben Fitzgerald, a pastor/missionary from Bethel!

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Other people wrote on Vallotton's wall in support of the Hodge's "Christalignment" methods, and Vallotton wrote almost nothing at all:

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What did you expect, Kris Vallotton?? This is the fruit of Bethel's vague, feel-good, do whatever you think the spirit is telling you to do philosophy! Bill Johnson wrote that we should "take back truths" from the New Age; isn't that exactly what Christalignment is doing? Vallotton, Johnson and all the Bethel pastors teach that the unbelievers need to have an "encounter with God" (not hear crusty old Bible passages) and isn't Christalignment doing that very thing? They believe they have discovered an innovative new way to help people "experience God."

Christalignment and Bethel Church teach the same things! Here's a story written by a student of Bethel's "School of Supernatural Ministry" where students are encouraged to operate undercover at New Age/Psychic  fairs: Are You More Religious Than Jesus?

Here's a screenshot of the article:

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Global Awakening, which was founded by Randy Clark (a very close friend of Bill Johnson and Bethel) produced a movie called Witch City that features their students doing exactly the same thing as Christalignment:

 

Is Kris Vallotton going to write a Facebook post condemning Randy Clark's "psychic readers?" Nope. Randy Clark and Bill Johnson are teaching together at Bethel next month. For $139 you can listen to these supernatural experts, too. 

So what does Vallotton eventually do? He deletes his entire post along with all the critical comments from Bethel supporters. This is how Super Pastors operate nowadays (just ask Michael Brown).

For much more detail on this breaking story, please check out these articles from ChurchWatch Central:

Bethelgate – looking under the rug of Bethel administration.

Hodge connects ChristAlignment to Bethel; Bethel retracts statement.

 

UPDATE TO THIS STORY!!

Not only has Kris Vallotton changed his story, the Christalignment Ministry website is erasing its tarot card language: The "Christian" Tarot Card Controversy at Bethel Redding

Kris Vallotton RUNS From His Own Facebook Post!!

 

Here's something that false teachers hope you never see: Shocking Stuff you're Not Supposed to Know!

If you want to see how Kris Vallotton is a horrendous Bible twister, listen to this episode of Fighting for the Faith.