Coming To Church Will Improve Viking's Chances of Winning the Super Bowl

/

Is your church having trouble attracting potential customers? No problemo! All you have to do to attract more people is tell them that their favorite sports team will have a better chance of winning The Big Game if they show up to pray. What could possibly go wrong with this church growth strategy?

Case and Point: This promo video from New Life Church Souix Falls

You'll notice that the video is intended to be funny, however there is some REALLY bad theology mixed in with it.

The "Wet Bandits" at Church for Christmas

/

Holy Ghost Wiener Roast!

/

New Life Church is having a... they're having a... um... (this is hard to actually type)...

They're having a HOLY GHOST WIENER ROAST:

This might help to answer the question: "Why doesn't anyone take God and the church seriously anymore?" 

In 20 years, didn't anyone stop to consider that they probably shouldn't use the name of the Holy Spirit in combination with a "wiener roast?" 

(from the New Life church facebook page)

(from the New Life church facebook page)

The Gospel According to Taylor Swift

/

We wish this was satire, but it's not. This is real:

This church spent three Sundays analyzing and explaining the lyrics of Taylor Swift songs... so people could be pointed to the Gospel of Jesus? Do we even need to explain how ridiculous this is?

No, we don't. 

Welcomed by Sadness at The Rock Church

/

Sadness (the character) literally welcomed you if you attended the Inside Out theme at The Rock Church. The images provided by their Facebook page are a perfect unintended metaphor for what is going on.

So what’s the big deal? This wasn’t an extra curricular outreach. The Rock Church was doing this during their official Sunday worship service. They are unintentionally confessing many things by greeting people at the door with movie themes.

They confess that entertainment, movies, movie characters, and not Jesus are to be on your mind as you enter church. What greets you at the door? What is your attention drawn toward?

Jesus wouldn't be the first thing on my mind if I viewed the above at the door of my church for Sunday worship.

I like Star Wars, but should my church be drawing my attention to Stormtroopers before an official church worship service?

This literally does church inside out. Is our “product” so lame that we think gimmicks are needed to make it appealing? Is the problem that we view the gospel as a product that needs pop culture references to make it appear relevant?

If you attend a church like this, or are involved in leadership making use of these gimmicks, please repent of this nonsense. Our message is the power of God unto salvation. God works through word and sacrament, he doesn’t need manmade religious gimmicks, which are actually neo-traditions of men if you think about it. If you’re looking for something that is actually dry, cold, manmade tradition, then movie theme gimmicks are it. Go back to focussing on the gospel, that is God’s message and God’s power.

Papa Don't Push! -Apostle Axel's Ape-tastic Push Anointing

/

The real Holy Spirit would NEVER cause someone to steal bad movie posters and pretend they were a word from God, but "Apostle" Axel Sippach is aping Hollywood by delivering The Push Anointing to the body of Christ. Do not keep this unbiblical delivery. Our Father in heaven has not placed a Push Anointing anywhere in his word.

You may not find this "anointing" in God's word, but you will find in Hollywood, which makes Apostle Axel's vain imagination creation 100% ape-tastic!

PUSHMOVIE.jpg

He's aping the 2009 movie Push. This is what happens when you mix the vain imaginations of a false apostle with seeker sensitive attempts to be relevant. You end up with 0% bible, and 100% vain imagination.

Notice how he turns the power of the Holy Spirit into an impersonal force we can tap into.

“There is a ‪#‎power‬ at work within us that most of us have not even tapped into 10% of yet.”

Last I knew the Holy Spirit was more than an impersonal power we could tap into like a tree for maple syrup.

Don't let this false apostle turn the Holy Spirit into an impersonal force you can tap into. His teaching is founded in his vain imaginations and not in scripture. Simply put, our Father in heaven has not created a Push Anointing. Do not keep this unbiblical delivery, it's not from our Father.

"Love the way you turn me on!" at North Point Community Church

/

"Love the way you turn me on." "You got the right stuff, baby."

Imagine you're sitting in church on Sunday during an official worship service, and singers on stage are singing those lyrics. Would you really want to hear lyrics about how a girl turns a guy on because she has the right stuff baby? That's what happened during a Sunday worship service at North Point Community Church-Andy Stanley's church. They opened an official Sunday worship service with hits from the 1990s.

The Apostle Paul said, "We preach Christ and Him crucified," but Stanley seems to be saying "we will put on an elaborate and worldly show to draw a crowd." 

Is the Gospel of Jesus Christ not good enough? Does it really need to be dressed up with cheesy boy band songs from the 90s? On top of that, can anyone imagine that any of those performers had any free time left to study God's Word? This is a tightly choreographed and professionally performed medley of (secular) hits; it must have taken many hours of practice and rehearsal to accomplish this. Is this what a church should be encouraging it's people to focus their precious time on? North Point and Andy Stanley have a gigantic effect on other churches in America; many smaller churches study their methods and try to emulate their "success." Lord have mercy...

Here's a quote from Andy Stanley that might help:

For those who think it's mean, judgmental and un-loving to criticize Andy Stanley/North Point Church (or any other popular teacher/church) here's something just for you: Shocking Stuff You're Not Supposed to Know.

If you're having a knee-jerk reaction to try and defend this church's video, check out: Confirmation Bias: Why You Are Protecting Your False Beliefs.

Finally, here's an article that will help you be more discerning and a lot less gullible: Defusing Demonic Dirty Bombs.

UPDATE JULY 28, 2016!!

Apparently North Point Church refuses to allow Bible verses on their blog:

This is a screenshot from 6:53 pm of a comment made this morning. The comment is simply three Bible verses-not commentary or criticism. Why doesn't North Point want to allow these Bible verses to be shown on their website?? Maybe because they'd have to remove the Bible verses... like they did earlier on this same morning:

Read the follow-up article: No Bible Verses for You!!!

VIP Seating, Popcorn, Candy and Movies at Christ Fellowship Church

/

Christ Fellowship is handing out popcorn at the door, giving away VIP reserved seating, and conducting a special effects smoke & flame show with "Ironman" on stage during their official Sunday worship service. The VIP reserved seating has a mini refrigerator with drinks, hot popcorn, and candy. To potentially qualify for the VIP reserved seating you have to take a picture of yourself by a movie set at a church campus, post it to social media, and then tag the photo. Does this seem like pandering to get people to show up to you?

Is this really the type of atmosphere an official church worship service should have? This may be fine for an informal church outreach event, but this is supposed to be a gathering of the church to worship. But a big sign on stage saying "AT THE MOVIES" confesses that the focus here is on a movie. 

Below you will see the absolute distraction and mess they make of a church service...

“For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths.”
— 2 Timothy 4: 3-4

"I Like Big Buts" Easter Promo Video

/

Relevant Church has made this little video to promote their Easter services; it does briefly contain some actual Bible verses, but it seems the truth of the Gospel isn't good enough, so they had to make reference to a cheesy and offensive song... after all, this is Relevant Church.

"Star Wars" Pastor Defends and Promotes Cosmic Christmas Publicity Stunt

/

Here's the "Han Solo" pastor attempting to defend his church's publicity stunt/Star Wars obsession with obviously pre-planned, "sound-bite" style answers (and a winning smile!):

This video came from an web page dedicated to getting publicity-it's an online "press kit." Seriously. Here's the "publicity stunt" web page:

In this online press kit the pastor, Tim Lucas, says, "We believe we have the greatest story in the world, but the challenge is reaching people with that story. There are no rules that say church has to be dry and boring."

     So, the story of God coming to earth as a baby so that He can eventually die on the cross for our sins isn't enough. That would be dry and boring. But if we talk all about Star Wars and dress in costumes and replace Biblical characters with Star Wars characters that's so much better. The church's press kit says: "Rather than focus on the birth of Jesus on earth, Lucas will share the story from heaven's perspective, which includes a rogue emperor, evil rebellion, miraculous birth, and a cosmic war behind the stars. The idea stems from Lucas' own passion for Star Wars."  Yep. This pastor is really passionate about Star Wars.

Is this guy familiar with the term "idolatry?" Or at least "bizarre fascination with nostalgic childhood movie memories that cloud one's ability to fully embrace reality and rightly handle God's Word?"

Worst Easter Advertisement EVER! Run Away! Don't Look!!

/

And the Worst Easter Advertisement in the History of the Christian Church Award goes to....Action Church

No matter how many times you say to yourself "make it go away" what you're about to see will plague you for the rest of your life. You've been warned...

 

 

There's still time to turn back...

 

 

You asked for it...